Not all men, but always a man: seeing our blind spots.
Over the past week, newspapers were filled with headlines about sexual harassment, rape, femicide, and maybe the most tragic: the murder of 17-year-old Lisa, who was on her way home after a night out in Amsterdam. These are headlines we see all too often, but this week everything seemed to collide and reach a boiling point. I saw a striking quote on Instagram that said: “Not all men, but always a man.” Although it’s very true that this is a men’s problem, of which women are the victims, I also saw the risk that men could distance themselves from this comment. Because yes, murdering and raping women is probably not part of your daily routine, and everyone knows that this is an absolute no-go. But that does not mean this issue does not concern you as an "ordinary" man. Men’s behavior that negatively affects women and how they move through society is much broader than rape, harassment, or murder. This behavior is more subtle, but still very harmful. As men, we often have a blind spot for our behavior that ‘maintains’ the oppression of women, and we are complicit to this matter far more often than we like to admit.